How many Dating Hours Before You Marry?

How many Dating Hours Before You Marry?

I had this random thought about young LDS members that date and get married. I was thinking about how these kids at BYU will get engaged after 2-3 months of dating. I saw it myself when I was visiting during the spring summer term. In the most extreme case I once home taught a man who was a 70 (old school high priest missionary style) that got engaged at the end of his first date and got married a week later. This was not a woman he knew all his life either. It seemed to work for him but that was an extreme example I do not recommend marriage after a single date.


Even members often find it odd to get married after only a couple months. It may also depend where you are from. A Utah Mormon may have no problem with it while a member from another country may think it is crazy. Then I wondered if it really is all that crazy?

Most people go on a date maybe once a week. But kids in school often go out every day or at least a few times a week. In one week is it possible for them to spend more time with the person they are dating and have had more dates then a couple that has been dating for a month or more. I was thinking perhaps what it comes down to is how many hours you spent with the person.

In some cases people who are friends and start do not take as long and you could probably make a algorithm for that too. I have not given that as much thought and I don't have enough examples I have seen where I know the numbers to really figure that out but an algorithm for that might be something like hours spent together as friends =.10 the equivalent dating time.

Another variable may also be the age of the couple. There may be different way to create that variable like factoring in the age of the oldest or the age differences. I would think that the older you are the less time you would need because you know yourself better along with what works and does not work in a relationship for you. Also we need to admit you are more likely to feel pressured to get married so you probably are willing to spend as much time as you would when you were younger. You also are less likely to have the free time you had when you were young.

After taking some time this is my rough estimate about how much time I think it takes before a person should marry. I will give my thinking but I would like to hear what you think below so please comment below and let us know your thoughts.

I figure an average date is about 3 hours long. Any one date can vary. A first date most people prefer keeping short only about 1 hour. But after that it could be something like 1 hour at dinner and 2 hours at a movie. This is a rough estimate again feel free to comment if you think it is more or less. Dating once a week for a year seems like a reasonable time to get to know someone and get married. Even then you may get some weeks you don't date or some you get a couple dates in a week. Let's say that gives you 55 dates in a year. We multiple that by 3 and we get 165 total hours. So I will say it takes about 150-200 hours of dating to be ready to marry someone.

Some student at BYU might get 5 dates a week at 3 hours each for 10 weeks and you have that magic 150 hours number. Of course sometimes you get an Adam or Hosea and you don't even need to date. Even with God playing matchmaker we only get a 50% success rate. Maybe I shouldn't mention that in a blog article that probably will be read by LDS singles. If God isn't good at it how can we be? You can feel free to use that one when your parents complain about you not being married though.

These are all rough estimates based on my own experience and experiences of others I have known. It would be interesting to see some hard data though. If anything I might expect higher to allow for 2 dates a week or 1.5 dates a week. My parents told me they spent about every day together for a year and a half but they also were barley out of high school and this was 50 years ago so I do not think it is as relevant. I only know one couple that was a high school romance that got married and I think it is rare to even know that many now.

 What do you think? If you are married how many hours do you think it took before you got engaged? How many hours do you think the average date actually is? Please comment below and let us know.